Christmaaaas

Merry Christmas everybody. I’m in Slidell, Louisiana right now, enjoying a long vacation. I’ll be back in San Francisco doing shows at Kell’s January 4th and 5th with Kevin Camia. They’ve been added to the calendar (its true, go see).

Until then, its relaxation time in the South. So far its been a great trip. I hit the road on the 20th to go visit my 90-year-old grandma in Houston. People aren’t joking when they say that the filter comes off when you get that old. And why not? You’re only going to be around a little longer, might as well get everything off your chest while you still can. Personally, I thought hearing my Grandma break balls and swear at people was great. It makes me wonder what happens when I turn 90. Because essentially, breaking balls and swearing at people is my profession. So what’s my ceiling? Indecent exposure? Random acts of violence? Maybe being old and just saying, “fuck off” to people will be novel enough to keep me happy. I guess we’ll see.

Big thanks to my Aunt and Uncle for letting me and my brother stay with them in Houston. Talk about great hosts, I’m hoping to visit every year now. They took me, my brother and my cousins to a Houston Rockets game. And they won. What a great god damn time. And thanks to my brother for taking the 7 hour drive with me. That was particularly significant as we had gone on a disastrous road trip years ago and this finally made up for it.

Anyway, I won’t bore you with rosy, cheerful vacation anecdotes. I promise I’ll write about something fucked up and hilarious eventually. I’m just trying to blog with some consistency now and, shit, things are kind of nice at the moment. I’m waking up late, eating well and walking dogs in 70-degree weather, man. What the fuck do I have to complain about? Maybe I’ll get robbed in New Orleans. That’ll do the trick.

Ok. I’m done. Merry Christmas. Yes I’m an atheist and I celebrate Christmas. Its easy, they keep Christ out of it so well I’m under the impression we are celebrating Ralphie getting his BB gun and Charlie Brown decorating a shitty tree.

But seriously, Merry Christmas. Whatever. Fuck.

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